Excerpts Chapter 1 - Mellifluously Mixed Metaphors Like Venice, New Orleans is one of the few great cities of the world that admits it is living on borrowed time, with rising waters certain to one day call in that overdue loan. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 2 - I’m Not Saying I’d Fall Apart The day before yesterday while sitting in CC’s pondering subtly subversive departures from the usual guidebook fare I decided to commit to a program of physical fitness, not having gone jogging since my inguinal hernia repair a few months ago and appreciating the need to be in tip-top form for endurance writing. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 3 - That Second “A” Oh, and by the way, whatever happened to truth in advertising? I mean, what parallel universe do those “Place Called Perfect” people over at Walgreens reside in? More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 4 - These Old Hands Saturday didn’t dawn any brighter. To the contrary, in direct violation of an earlier resolution I woke up with one of the worst eBay hangovers I’d had in some time. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 5 - Ruined Finery Enter Infinity Freeman (Catfish’s knight in shining armor—if I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a million times). Petite. New Kenneth Cole briefcase. Smart footwear. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 6 - Wonderful World Also in all fairness, it’s to Christopher that I owe at least a smidgeon of my fondness for Le Café du Monde, since on that first day almost seven years ago it was he who instructed me in the dying art of dignified beignet-eating in breezy weather. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 7 - Lucky Dog Dollars The deviant Dr. Doolittle theme carried over into one of the yards a few houses down, where several chickens supplied eggs to their Earth Mother guardian and anyone not reporting her to animal control.. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 8 - Storm’s A Comin’ And in that instant something twisted in me as I realized that wasn’t an option. Not because of Winnie or Jake or monies paid. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 9 - Creole Heart The contrast so many New Orleans homes flaunt strikes me the instant I clear the gate in that the exterior and interior of this house are diametrically opposed, the outside teetering on the brink of neglect, the inside reflecting a sense of self-expression edging toward excess. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 10 - Welcome to River House Every once in a while, more by chance than design, we human beings get something right. And as I sit back in the tub I can’t help but feel that this is one of those times as I experience for the first time the sounds of the Marigny: the bucolic chorale of birds, the quiet clacking of railroad cars behind the floodwall, the harmonica-like foghorn bursts of vessels bound for the sea. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 11 - Certain Things Are Better Left Unsaid I peer discreetly across the coffee table into the adjacent room, where an unusually narrow staircase forms an extreme angle leading up to a hatch-like ceiling trapdoor that appears to be padlocked shut. More... Listen to excerpt read by author. Chapter 12 - With A Cross Over It Although ‘twas the season to be jolly I was feeling anything but as I passed in front of one gaily painted storefront after another, most of them posh antique shops or art galleries, their gas-lit doorways draped with fresh-cut pine wound with ribbons, their interiors shimmering with holiday lights. More... Listen to excerpt read by author.